How to stop comparing yourself to others and boost your self confidence in the workplace
“Instead of comparing yourself to others, take inspiration”
If you run a business, or you’re a freelancer, you’ll understand that most industries are competitive. Even if you work in an office, you’ll probably find yourself comparing yourself to your colleagues.
Recently one of my friends - a freelancer - asked me about another friend who is in the same industry as him. He asked me how old my other friend is because he’s so accomplished and it was making him feel like he was falling behind in his industry.
The piece of advice I gave him was:
“You’re doing well for you. Everyone has their own journey so it’s important to focus on yourself and what you’re doing rather than bringing yourself down by comparing yourself to others.”
In a world where we learn from the playground to compare ourselves to others, and are constantly judging other people’s work, talents and appearance, it’s important to always have a glass half full.
“Build each other up, don’t bring each other down.”
I consequently had a conversation with someone else who said they had won a sports competition at the weekend, and one of the people who lost made a comment about unfair judging.
“How different would the world be if instead of being angry about other people’s fortune, we accepted and congratulated?”
I often find it hard to talk to friends who are unhappy in their job about what I do because I often feel from the look on their faces that I sound like I’m rubbing it in. But why should we be made to feel like this? Our friends and family out of anyone should be supporting us the most.
“Instead of comparing yourself to others, get inspired to achieve!”
What if in the case of the competition I mentioned above, the person who came second congratulated the winner and then asked for some tips on how to do better next time?
What if the people I know who feel jealous that I work for myself, asked me how they can do it too?
What if my friend stopped comparing himself to someone who has two more years of experience in his industry, and took inspiration from his journey and made a plan to get there by the time he is the same age?
In all three cases, wouldn’t the people who are comparing themselves be better off?
Here are some thoughts for finishing where you want to finish, without comparing yourself to others:
1. Don’t copy, but take inspiration.
How can you do what others do, and put your own spin on it?
2. Don’t let it get you down.
You’re your own person and you’re special in so many ways of your own. You’ll never do something exactly the same as someone else because you’re different people. There’s some things that only you can bring to this world.
3. Don’t think about it - DO IT!
Don’t spend time thinking about how much better you could do something than someone else. Quite frankly, it’s a waste of time and you’ll hit yourself later on for dwelling on other people when you could put all this effort into doing something else to better you. Like Nike says - JUST DO IT! Make an achievable plan, and set yourself goals on where you want to be in a year, two years, five years and so on. Make a mood board and in a year’s time go back to it, and look at the things you wanted to achieve!
4. Mind over matter
In the case of comparing ourselves to others you too can achieve what others have and more if you just put your mind to it.
5. Be nice to people
Stopping comparing your self to others, or putting others down to make yourself feel better will help you be a better person. Have your glass half full, don’t be mean to people, don’t make comments about other people’s appearance or achievements unless it’s something congratulatory.
It’s true what you mum said - if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all. And that includes the way you talk to yourself.